I just looked at this blog and realized that it's been three weeks since I posted anything. By the calendar, that seems like a long time even by my usual erratic schedule (things get written on a much more regular "schedule" but most don't see the light of day) but, on the other hand, I've been pretty busy. So here's a quick summary of some of the things that have been going on:
- I had an MRI for my Cancer Diagnosis Anniversary (I think that one year is the Paper Anniversary, but digital images are close). What it showed is that the cancer in my prostate is just chillin' (i.e., hanging out) -- nothing has changed in the past year. For some reason, my reaction to this has not get all smiley and relieved. It's been more like being annoyed that the *&##$% disease hasn't gone away and left me alone.
It's been hard enough keeping to a regime that will keep me alive (diet, supplements, exercise, chi kung, etc.) when there's a death sentence connected to not doing it. Now, it's hard to keep remembering that there's a reason to do all this stuff (and, of course, there is - the prospect of an ugly, painful death). In this case, it seems that no news is almost bad news (but not quite). The hill is stlll here; the rock is still here; I'm still pushing one up the other and not very happy about it.
- While my health had been okay (at least once I got over the dreadful spring allergies) the health of my child, emotional guru, and main psychological support for the past 7 years has not been very good. Smudge the Cat has gone from having seriously infected ear to tettering on the edge of major organ failures over the past couple of months. And it seems like every time that I go with him to the vet the diagnosis gets worse. Sure, Smudgy is getting old - he's somewhere around 15 now - but I didn't expect that things would get this bad this quickly or that my reaction to this situation would be so emotionally deep. A couple of weeks ago, I was just a basket case from the prospect of losing him. The prospect of his death is not only terrible unto itself but brings up lots of old bad stuff from the past. Yuck.
I have managed to climb out of the basket and get my feet back under me this past week, but it doesn't help that he's been getting me up 2 to 5 times a night to feed him. I don't do well when sleep deprived.Of course, when you have a sick child, it really doesn't matter what you think or feel. The kid comes first. The fact that I'm sleep deprived doesn't really matter - I just wish that he would get better.
- Of course, the handbasket that is my life would not be complete without a complete change in my work environment as well. At the beginning of June, I started a new job doing computer support at MIT. The job is a lot like the one that I did before I "went management" at Harvard, but it's at MIT - which means that everything is very different from Harvard. First, I support completely or partially four different departments as well as do some consulting with individuals on the side. I've had to learn (and will have to learn quite a bit more) about PC's even though they well knew that I was a "Mac guy" when they hired me. And then there is getting used to the big, sprawling web-enabled Institute and how they do things. Luckily, I'm learning all this in the summer when there isn't much going on. The fall is going to be interesting.
I think that the job is going to be a good fit once I figure out where the boundaries are, who the people are, and I can focus on doing the job. Of course, having some sleep would help too.
- And to tie this all up with a nice bow, about a week ago I had the first major traffic accident that I have had in 42 years of driving an automobile. And it was with the new girlfriend's car. And I totaled it. And I totaled the other guy's car as well. No one hurt (which is the main thing), but still lots of bent plastic and metal. I won't go into the details, but definitely my fault. Who me distracted?
So that's why I haven't been blogging. I've been busy. And it looks like I'm probably going to be busy for a while, so don't expect much out of me in terms of writing for the next period of time.