Part of my misspent youth was misspent in the company of a friend that owned a sports car. We used to drive this car way over the speed limit along the roads of Southeastern Massachusetts and that's where I learned about inertia. Most of the roads of roads around home were of the twisty turny variety only found in the older parts of the country. In order to drive them at high speed, you had to have an appreciation of being able to feel the suspension of the car literally with your entire body so that you knew exactly how to accelerate and brake so that you wouldn't overload the suspension of the car and flip it over. I am told that pilots of very fast airplanes develop this sort of whole body relation to their vehicle. This is where the phrase "flying by the seat of your pants" came from.
Well, for some reason, this morning I feel like I just snapped out of a very tight turn at high velocity. I'm headed in another direction than I was before and, as usual, I don't know where I'm going, but the crush of the g-forces are gone and now I can start to relax into the new pattern of the new direction.
The medical news of the past two days has been good. Dr. Zeitman at the Mass General pitched the implantation of radioactive seeds in a very low key way yesterday while saying that, all things being equal, at this point in time the mode of treatment for my condition is more of an emotional decision than a medical one. He confirmed that what I had gained from my reading of the medical literature was, in fact, correct and he confirmed that the size of my prostate (small) would make radiation therapy easier since the cancer would probably be more easily targeted in a small gland. He even used the magic word "cure" even though he immediately danced away from it by saying that, of course, nothing was guaranteed. He also confirmed that I've probably got a good long time before I have to do treatment, though he emphasized that, given my age, I'm probably going to have to do it at some point. I got the impression from him that he wanted to work with me because the case is so clearcut that the possibility of a positive outcome is about as good as it gets.
All of this is good news. Not as good as "you don't have cancer" but good news all the same. Now I can concentrate on making the life changes that I have to make in order to have a chance to beat the disease so that I don't have to do anything invasive and I have some time to do this. And I can relax for a little while I head on down the new road and put together a new gig. Everything as to be re-thought. It's the late middle age crisis/opportunity shown up at last.
The next stop in the wonderful world of western meds is a meeting with Kevin Loughlin on Tuesday so that we can talk strategy and I can look at my insides on the MRI. All part of the ride.
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